i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize