you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
