I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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