Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
