Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
