What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
