a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
