first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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