Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
