Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
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