Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
