I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
