i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
