i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be right there i have to get my cape
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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