we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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