you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
