I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
