Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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