3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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