Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Randomize
