Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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