ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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