I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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