and i looked up. we had an audience...
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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