He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
