Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
