if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Swine flu is the new snow day.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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