the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
