I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
