marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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