How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
