i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
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