i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
