Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
