i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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