we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I think I sprained my soul last night
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
