It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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