New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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