i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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