i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
