he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
