uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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