you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
