Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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