I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
