matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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