Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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