Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
