ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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