Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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