Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
