Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Randomize
