And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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