in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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