Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
