so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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